Not JUST a Love Story

how to move on? 

how to carry on? 

how to move forward?

words that are spreading nowadays...

a big dream a big heart break. 

lets agree with it,, when we want something we work for it, we dream of achieving it as days go by,  but if God had better plans, even if you want it, even if you work hard for it, if its not for you it will never be for you!

thats my number one lesson in life. 

let me tell you my story......

two decades and 3 years old (23yrs ago- i just want it in words so my age wont mirror me 😅) ive been madly inlove.  its like a dream for me having been loved back by the man of my dreams.  we all know that our knight in shinning armor doesnt determine all the qualities coz no one is perfect, but but, i love him for who he was.

lets go back. ive been madly inlove that every weekend i travel for 66km just to see him! just to be with him. ive dreamt of getting old with him, having kids etchetera etchera.. i dream big... then after i turn 18 in just a snap! he disappeared! no explanation no nothing! even his family doesnt want to talk to me and just said they dont know where his whereabouts!

i guess i didnt really move on not knowing his side of the story. why did he leave! why????? am i too young? am i ugly? am i not enough?

it hurts so bad that even if years gone by i didnt stop looking for him. even had my own child but i never did stop looking for him. in every place i go that i knew he is close by. i really didnt know where they moved but i feel it in my heart.

until one day i had enough. i stopped. i just stop. maybe, well just maybe his explanations are no longer needed. and i might as well move on and just live with the family i made.

but who would have thought what i am going through? having a rough time with my childs father. all my sacrifices  have put on a stake. and made an end to all my hopes that one day he will change and be a good person.

after 2 years of staying. i finally end it. im not worth all the headaches and lies and intrigues and rumors. 

i know my worth.

then....

i found him.

my one and true love.

you know you really didnt love your present if you love someone that comes back.

not all exes are sent from hell.

he just have to choose then, to be a good father (coz one of his playmates that time got pregnant, or me an innocent teenager😅 im 18 that time and he is 20).

he didnt have time to explain. so he left.

after years realizing that same as me, all our sacrifices towards our partners have come to an end. 

and then we met. by accident.

its feels just like yesterday. 

its like im a teen again!

my feelings didnt change. my heart is beating so fast, got goosebumps, got butterflies in my stomach! i knew from my heart i still longed for him!

and now 4years as of this day were Finally together! 

Fate and destiny made its way,  but for me its God. He knew what would be the best for me. He prepared my one true love and train him on what he would be when the right time comes for both of us.

all our heartaches, headaches and sentiments in life have finally paid off.  i know there will be more trials. but i hope we are equipped with what we have learned from our past relationships, and with Gods guidance.

see, if its meant for you, it will be for you! even if you want it, even if you try harded and do everything to make them stay they will leave, God will remove people that is not meant to be in your life. they will not be replaced but will be a big lesson for you! and will have a greater version that knows your worth!

i know i will still choose him.

i know we will still choose each other, with Gods grace abd guidance!