MONTH OF "BER"

hey its the "ber" month already!!! oh my i cant believe it'll soon be Christmas... AGAIN!!!

i am asking myself whether our Christmas and New Year would still be the same like the others... now we will celebrate it without her!

i guess it will not be the same....

but i am sorry mama i cannot celebrate Christmas and new year in our house again...

i cant stand sleeping in the house, coz whenever i saw the play where she lies down lifeless... its all coming back... the pain.. the loss and everything...

does everyone who loose their parent feels like the way i do?

everytime i walk in the house i can feel the pain...

what the heck she is our strength our backbone... our all...

there would be more days before Christmas... maybe.. well maybe i will change my mind and will celebrate in the house again... i hope...